The Top 10 Reasons English Bulldogs are the Coolest Dogs Ever

I’ve come up with a Top Ten list about why owning an English bulldog is probably the most cool thing you’ll ever do.   If you’ve never owned an English bulldog, you probably won’t laugh as hard.  Heck, you may not even chuckle.  But, on the other hand, if you currently own, owned one in the past, or even know an English bulldog, these will ring true.


So, without further ado, here they are:
 

10.  Unlike humans, wrinkles actually look good on them.

9.   Bulldog slobber was tinted green and used as slime in the 90’s Nickelodeon show, Double Dare.  I bet your neighbor can’t say that about her Yorkie.

8.   When you have a staring contest, your English bulldog will always let you win.  They’re generous like that.

7.  They are so loveable, you’ll disown your children and leave your inheritance to your bulldog.

6.  The stubbornness of the English bulldog allows you to practice (and get really good at) your debating skills.

5.  They snuggle better than any other snuggle buddy you’ll ever have.  Their kisses are like Xanax.

4.  The insane amount of snoring emitted by an English bulldog prepares you for sleeping through an F5 tornado that was spawned during the detonation of an atomic bomb next door to your house.  You will become immune to the snoring.  You will not, however, become immune to your husband’s snoring.  EVER.

3.  They are the only breed of dog that can skateboard, surf, fart, and snore…. simultaneously.

2.  English bulldogs are great vacuum cleaners and dish washers. Don’t believe me? Just drop a cookie or lay down a half-eaten plate of lasagna.

 

Drum roll please……

1.  The gas emitted by an English bulldog has been rated by the EPA to be a natural alternative to Napalm.  If you can survive one day with English bulldog, you can survive  guerrilla fighting in the Congo.

I truly hope you’ve enjoyed this Top 10 list. Feel free you leave your top reason in the comments below!

 

 

2 Responses to “The Top 10 Reasons English Bulldogs are the Coolest Dogs Ever”

  1. Barbara Toward says:

    My female Zoey is deaf since birth. She can read our minds with out us saying a word. She runs and hides under hubby’s computer table when its time for her eye meds. LOL so My bully reads minds LOL and she barks. Most deaf dogs don’t bark. Our vet told us that one

  2. Bulldog kisses really are like xanax!

    Rufus always makes me feel better when I’m having a bad day.

    Jules

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